I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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