I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
