We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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