it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
