you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
