whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
