If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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