Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize