some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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