im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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