i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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