walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
