got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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