I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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