So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
