I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
