I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
