Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
