Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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