he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
