is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
