Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
