I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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