so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
