is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
