I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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