operation have a gay friend backfired
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
