first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
