chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
