Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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