Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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