haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
