i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
