Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
