You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
