We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
These tits shall not be calmed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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