I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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