I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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