fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
