he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
