Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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