Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
