Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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