It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
