I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
