Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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