I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
