The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
