I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
