he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
