I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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