Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
