Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
