Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
