Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just cropdusted the office
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
