Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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