as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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