I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
