Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
