i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
