Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Send help, water and tortillas.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
