I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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