I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
