If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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