The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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