garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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