Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
