its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
