Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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