The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
