i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
