I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
