this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We left an ass print on the piano.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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