I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
