he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
