My liver just broke up with me...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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